It's unlikely, but...
Dec. 17th, 2008 02:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blue_barretteIf I ever write a vampire story:
1) It will contain absolutely no romance between an ancient, 100+ year old vampire and a teenage girl (because I have not found one story where I don't find that creepy. And no, making her the reincarnation of his previous love does not make it any less creepy. Nor does "freezing" the vampire. It's creepy).
2) The vampires will be weak to friggin' everything. Garlic. Stakes. Holy water. Sunlight. Scattered rice. Running water. EVERYTHING. If humans can't crush vampires when they show their pasty undead heads, I begin to wonder why vampires haven't just enslaved the human race yet.
3) They'll be very powerful physically, though. Maybe have some sort of hypnotism power, I'm not sure yet. They'll be totally weak if you're prepared. But if not... odds are good the vampire's getting dinner tonight.
4) They will not be able to turn into bats, wolves, or mist.
5) There will be no secret vampire overlord council. I just don't like that particular plot device. I like the idea of lone wolf vampires.
6) Vampires won't be able to cheat and drink animal blood. I'm fine with them being able to go without blood for long periods of time, though.
7) There will be no whining about souls.
8) Or children.
9) Or "equal rights."
9) They will not have any weird powers I decided to give them on a whim because I didn't do much research about vampires.
10) If at all possible, there will be a reference to Chinese hopping vampires ♥
1) It will contain absolutely no romance between an ancient, 100+ year old vampire and a teenage girl (because I have not found one story where I don't find that creepy. And no, making her the reincarnation of his previous love does not make it any less creepy. Nor does "freezing" the vampire. It's creepy).
2) The vampires will be weak to friggin' everything. Garlic. Stakes. Holy water. Sunlight. Scattered rice. Running water. EVERYTHING. If humans can't crush vampires when they show their pasty undead heads, I begin to wonder why vampires haven't just enslaved the human race yet.
3) They'll be very powerful physically, though. Maybe have some sort of hypnotism power, I'm not sure yet. They'll be totally weak if you're prepared. But if not... odds are good the vampire's getting dinner tonight.
4) They will not be able to turn into bats, wolves, or mist.
5) There will be no secret vampire overlord council. I just don't like that particular plot device. I like the idea of lone wolf vampires.
6) Vampires won't be able to cheat and drink animal blood. I'm fine with them being able to go without blood for long periods of time, though.
7) There will be no whining about souls.
8) Or children.
9) They will not have any weird powers I decided to give them on a whim because I didn't do much research about vampires.
10) If at all possible, there will be a reference to Chinese hopping vampires ♥
