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blue_barretteSo I've been watching the entire Star Trek: The Original Series run, with the occasional episode of some other series in between, at which I shake my head and lament that although Q is, in fact, hilariously awesome, he is not quite enough to make me love the other series as much as the original.
Once again, if you're in the U.S. you can watch all the episodes for free.
I did get to see the new Star Trek movie again, and I've pretty much figured out why certain things bothered me about the movie and have accepted that they are just alternate universe and I should just relax! Movie!Spock != Original!Spock, and while there's no good reason why that should be so, I will accept that and move on.
1. "The Man Trap"
What better time to point out than now that this series has woman issues.
Kirk, Bones, and some redshirt beam down to a planet to give routine medical examinations to a pair of archaeologists. They all see the same man, but the woman is different for all of them! Redshirt gets the salt sucked out of him. More redshirts get killed, Bones angsts, and Spock hits a woman. The end.
The episode itself is pretty good, if you leave out the somewhat awkward implications of the "the man trap". The salt monster itself is one of the better alien designs in the series, so good that they recycle it later on! I forgive them though, because it is pretty good.
Rating: 3/5
2. "Charlie X"
...D:
The Enterprise picks up Charlie, who has somehow managed to survive alone on a planet since he was little. From there on out, the plot just largely consists of Charlie not understanding things, acting inappropriately, then destroying someone's face or wishing them into the cornfield or so on. The end is a relief.
I actually really hate this episode. Charlie is annoying, scary, and pathetic, and I really couldn't find much sympathy for his fate. On the other hand, it's kind of a hilarious episode at times. And it does have Uhura singing while Spock plays the lyre, which is... really cute.
SO CUTE.
It's not really a bad episode, and I can't really recommend skipping it, but it's not on my list of must-watches, and honestly there are enough GODLIKE POWERS episodes that you could skip this one without too much regret.
Rating: 2/5
3. "Where No Man Has Gone Before"
GODLIKE POWERS.
The crew gets hit by some sort of magnetic wave and the crew members with high ESP begin acting funny. Eventually two of them get GODLIKE POWERS and try to rule a new world. Spock yells a lot.
This is the (second) pilot episode, so it's a little rough. Still, it's not too bad, and Elizabeth Dehner isn't a bad character, except for the beautiful line, "Women professionals do tend to overcompensate." Yay, optimistic future.
Rating: 3/5
4. "The Naked Time"
This is the best episode. Well, okay, maybe not the best. But definitely in my top 5, at least.
The crew goes down to some planet or other, and somehow the disease that killed the people there gets past their shower curtain protective clothing because the crew is populated with idiots! And then everyone gets lovesick and sad and insane and Sulu decides he's a musketeer and tries to rescue Uhura.
It's a very fun episode.
Rating: 5/5
5. "The Enemy Within"
This one has the best TOS alien design ever. Oh, sure, people bring up the Horta, or those weird things at the end of Catspaw, or maybe even tribbles. These are all lies.
It's a dog. In a costume. With these hilarious little bouncy antennae. It's... just so cute, and it's carried around by all the cast with the straightest faces, and... I just love that thing.
This episode involves them beaming down to a planet for... I don't even remember now, playing with alien dogs I guess. Anyway, Kirk finishes whatever he was doing down there and beams up, but then, a few minutes later, wait! There's another Kirk being beamed up, and this one wears eyeliner! That's a sure sign someone's evil, second only to facial hair and liking Bill O'Reilly.
Anyway, Evil!Kirk goes around and steals booze and assaults women and generally actsin a way indistinguishable from normal Kirk evil, and Good!Kirk angsts and can't make decisions, and there's some moral about needing both sides to be a good leader. I didn't really catch it over Shatner's terrible brilliant terribrant acting.
Sulu spends the entire episode freezing on the planet because they can't beam anyone up until they figure out what made Kirk split. Poor Sulu.
Rating: 4/5
6. "Mudd's Women"
Oh, boy. This episode is... interesting.
The Enterprise gets a distress signal and beams aboard a trader and three beautiful women (his "cargo", oh god this series has gender issues). They act a little off, refuse medical tests, and flirt with the crew until they reveal they're heading to a mining planet, where the men will be single and rich and this series has gender issues. Turns out they're taking pills to artificially enhance their beauty, and without it they lookexactly the same but with fake make-up applied and their hair kind of mussed hideous.
There's some very confused morals in this episode. They're trying to do some sort of "inner beauty" message, but it comes off a little odd. I... will give them the benefit of the doubt and claim that they were saying that confidence makes a woman attractive, though what appeared in the show was that confidence will make a woman lose wrinkles and automatically fix her hair. On the plus side, there were no GODLIKE POWERS, SPACE SICKNESS, or LOST CIVILIZATIONS in this episode, so it gets extra points just for that.
Rating: 4/5
7. "What Are Little Girls Made Of?"
Christine Chapel, in what is perhaps her one episode where she exhibits a story beyond "I really like Spock", is revealed to have joined Star Fleet in order to search for her lost fiancé. Luckily she joined the right ship. Kirk and Chapel beam down to the planet and find him, along with his assistant, a tall robot, and a sexy robot. Oh wait, the assistant is a robot too, though not a very sexy one. The tall robot disposes of the redshirts so we can get on with the episode without worrying about what they're up to. Turns out that there was a LOST CIVILIZATION that made some pretty awesome robots, and Chapel's fiancé has been studying them. He now believes that robots are pretty awesome (no arguments here) and plans to introduce them to the rest of the galaxy.
I actually really like this one. I have very few complaints - even the things that are kind of iffy on the sexist meter actually have a place in this episode.
Rating: 5/5
8. "Miri"
I didn't rewatch this episode. From what I remember from when I watched it years ago it mostly consisted of kids beating the hell out of the crew, a SPACE DISEASE, and some skeevy behavior from Kirk to Miri.
Rating: ???/5
9. "Dagger of the Mind"
I... have no gifs for this episode. Oh, well.
The Enterprise stop by a prison colony and pick up an unexpected guest. The man is raving and refuses to go back. They find out that he was not a prisoner but one of the administrators of the place! Hmm, suspicious. Kirk and the gang go back there and find out in order to rehabilitate prisoners, they're messing with the their memories.
It's not that great an episode, but it's not too bad of one either. I'd recommend against watching it because of this. The Original Series can be fun when an episode is really good, or really bad, but the blah ones aren't worth watching at all.
Rating: 3/5
10. "The Corbomite Maneuver"
There are a lot of comments in this episode about Kirk gaining too much weight. Oh, if only you knew what the future would bring.
So in this episode the Enterprise is pestered by some sort of energy ball that's emitting dangerous radiation. After trying to shake it off, they decide just to blow it up. Apparently, that was not a good plan, as a huge ship shows up and tells them the Enterprise will be destroyed for shooting the boundary buoy and trespassing. Kirk does some fun but somewhat laughable bluffing and is generally awesome.
I loved the ending of this one when I was younger. I'm not sure if it holds up as well if you don't have those warm and fuzzy childhood memories, but, uh, I still love it.
Rating: 5/5
Once again, if you're in the U.S. you can watch all the episodes for free.
I did get to see the new Star Trek movie again, and I've pretty much figured out why certain things bothered me about the movie and have accepted that they are just alternate universe and I should just relax! Movie!Spock != Original!Spock, and while there's no good reason why that should be so, I will accept that and move on.
1. "The Man Trap"
What better time to point out than now that this series has woman issues.
Kirk, Bones, and some redshirt beam down to a planet to give routine medical examinations to a pair of archaeologists. They all see the same man, but the woman is different for all of them! Redshirt gets the salt sucked out of him. More redshirts get killed, Bones angsts, and Spock hits a woman. The end.
The episode itself is pretty good, if you leave out the somewhat awkward implications of the "the man trap". The salt monster itself is one of the better alien designs in the series, so good that they recycle it later on! I forgive them though, because it is pretty good.
Rating: 3/5
2. "Charlie X"
...D:
The Enterprise picks up Charlie, who has somehow managed to survive alone on a planet since he was little. From there on out, the plot just largely consists of Charlie not understanding things, acting inappropriately, then destroying someone's face or wishing them into the cornfield or so on. The end is a relief.
I actually really hate this episode. Charlie is annoying, scary, and pathetic, and I really couldn't find much sympathy for his fate. On the other hand, it's kind of a hilarious episode at times. And it does have Uhura singing while Spock plays the lyre, which is... really cute.
SO CUTE.
It's not really a bad episode, and I can't really recommend skipping it, but it's not on my list of must-watches, and honestly there are enough GODLIKE POWERS episodes that you could skip this one without too much regret.
Rating: 2/5
3. "Where No Man Has Gone Before"
GODLIKE POWERS.
The crew gets hit by some sort of magnetic wave and the crew members with high ESP begin acting funny. Eventually two of them get GODLIKE POWERS and try to rule a new world. Spock yells a lot.
This is the (second) pilot episode, so it's a little rough. Still, it's not too bad, and Elizabeth Dehner isn't a bad character, except for the beautiful line, "Women professionals do tend to overcompensate." Yay, optimistic future.
Rating: 3/5
4. "The Naked Time"
This is the best episode. Well, okay, maybe not the best. But definitely in my top 5, at least.
The crew goes down to some planet or other, and somehow the disease that killed the people there gets past their shower curtain protective clothing because the crew is populated with idiots! And then everyone gets lovesick and sad and insane and Sulu decides he's a musketeer and tries to rescue Uhura.
It's a very fun episode.
Rating: 5/5
5. "The Enemy Within"
This one has the best TOS alien design ever. Oh, sure, people bring up the Horta, or those weird things at the end of Catspaw, or maybe even tribbles. These are all lies.
It's a dog. In a costume. With these hilarious little bouncy antennae. It's... just so cute, and it's carried around by all the cast with the straightest faces, and... I just love that thing.
This episode involves them beaming down to a planet for... I don't even remember now, playing with alien dogs I guess. Anyway, Kirk finishes whatever he was doing down there and beams up, but then, a few minutes later, wait! There's another Kirk being beamed up, and this one wears eyeliner! That's a sure sign someone's evil, second only to facial hair and liking Bill O'Reilly.
Anyway, Evil!Kirk goes around and steals booze and assaults women and generally acts
Sulu spends the entire episode freezing on the planet because they can't beam anyone up until they figure out what made Kirk split. Poor Sulu.
Rating: 4/5
6. "Mudd's Women"
Oh, boy. This episode is... interesting.
The Enterprise gets a distress signal and beams aboard a trader and three beautiful women (his "cargo", oh god this series has gender issues). They act a little off, refuse medical tests, and flirt with the crew until they reveal they're heading to a mining planet, where the men will be single and rich and this series has gender issues. Turns out they're taking pills to artificially enhance their beauty, and without it they look
There's some very confused morals in this episode. They're trying to do some sort of "inner beauty" message, but it comes off a little odd. I... will give them the benefit of the doubt and claim that they were saying that confidence makes a woman attractive, though what appeared in the show was that confidence will make a woman lose wrinkles and automatically fix her hair. On the plus side, there were no GODLIKE POWERS, SPACE SICKNESS, or LOST CIVILIZATIONS in this episode, so it gets extra points just for that.
Rating: 4/5
7. "What Are Little Girls Made Of?"
Christine Chapel, in what is perhaps her one episode where she exhibits a story beyond "I really like Spock", is revealed to have joined Star Fleet in order to search for her lost fiancé. Luckily she joined the right ship. Kirk and Chapel beam down to the planet and find him, along with his assistant, a tall robot, and a sexy robot. Oh wait, the assistant is a robot too, though not a very sexy one. The tall robot disposes of the redshirts so we can get on with the episode without worrying about what they're up to. Turns out that there was a LOST CIVILIZATION that made some pretty awesome robots, and Chapel's fiancé has been studying them. He now believes that robots are pretty awesome (no arguments here) and plans to introduce them to the rest of the galaxy.
I actually really like this one. I have very few complaints - even the things that are kind of iffy on the sexist meter actually have a place in this episode.
Rating: 5/5
8. "Miri"
I didn't rewatch this episode. From what I remember from when I watched it years ago it mostly consisted of kids beating the hell out of the crew, a SPACE DISEASE, and some skeevy behavior from Kirk to Miri.
Rating: ???/5
9. "Dagger of the Mind"
I... have no gifs for this episode. Oh, well.
The Enterprise stop by a prison colony and pick up an unexpected guest. The man is raving and refuses to go back. They find out that he was not a prisoner but one of the administrators of the place! Hmm, suspicious. Kirk and the gang go back there and find out in order to rehabilitate prisoners, they're messing with the their memories.
It's not that great an episode, but it's not too bad of one either. I'd recommend against watching it because of this. The Original Series can be fun when an episode is really good, or really bad, but the blah ones aren't worth watching at all.
Rating: 3/5
10. "The Corbomite Maneuver"
There are a lot of comments in this episode about Kirk gaining too much weight. Oh, if only you knew what the future would bring.
So in this episode the Enterprise is pestered by some sort of energy ball that's emitting dangerous radiation. After trying to shake it off, they decide just to blow it up. Apparently, that was not a good plan, as a huge ship shows up and tells them the Enterprise will be destroyed for shooting the boundary buoy and trespassing. Kirk does some fun but somewhat laughable bluffing and is generally awesome.
I loved the ending of this one when I was younger. I'm not sure if it holds up as well if you don't have those warm and fuzzy childhood memories, but, uh, I still love it.
Rating: 5/5
